When I read a book that is written in a dialect, I tend to take on the dialect, thinking it, forming sentences in my head, and writing in it. This is the latest result of the effects of Emily Bronte.
To: PrivacyManager@bestbuy.com
From: IdrisQueen@gmail.com
Subject: A Troublesome Irritation, or, Unsubscribe Me Please
Dear Sir or Madam,
I was persuaded several months ago to share my email address with Best Buy, after the clerk asseverated that I would receive no missives besides those pertaining to the warranty I was purchasing. I have since received epistles informing me of new technological products and urging me to take due advantage of sales. I have no desire to be bombarded with such adverts, and have tried several times to halt their progress, availing myself of the "unsubscribe here" service, to no effect. I have continued to be beleaguered by these messages.
I am writing to you to beg you to cease and desist. I have no intention of yielding to the suggestions of these letters; indeed, such persistent and irksome correspondence only succeeds in making me despise Best Buy and causing me to hesitate before ever passing through its gates again. I regret that I was lied to about the use that my address would be put to and I would require of you to be more honest and forthright in the future.
I am asking you once and for all to please end the emails.
Most earnestly,
Miss Brookins
I actually sent this email. It was amusing.
Funny. Interesting to see if you get a response. You should try a Jane Austen letter sometime.
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